Is the prologue of my Christmas story any good?

I'm a thirteen year old girl writing a Christmas love story. I just finished the prologue. Is it any good? Would you read it?



Prolougue



“I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the world seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses.”

- Taylor Caldwell



I was brought up to know that Christmas was a family time. The first flakes of snow that fall in early November. The rich scent of warming apple pie. The laughter of children running around in red and green knit sweaters, a large dog with a bell collar galloping behind them. These were acts of love, warmth, and togetherness. Of family.



Christmas was always a word that brought a gleam to my blue eyes. While other families focused on what they recieved, I looked forward to "Classic Christmas." We would go to church and sing Silent Night and Go Tell It On The Mountain. The adults would sit through an hour long finger puppet show of the nativity scene. We would go caroling, and donate food and clothing to less fortunate. And then, we would sit around the Christmas tree, sparkling with lights, bulbs, and homeade decorations, and tell Christmas stories while drinking hot chocolate. Sure, we got gifts, but the difference was, they weren't the highlight of our holiday season.



I guess that's why I was so upset. It killed me that I wasn't going to be home for Christmas. That, and the horrible event that had happened the summer before. The summer when cancer had mixed into my life, rearing it's ugly head just long enough to break my heart. I can still clearly picture my editor, in his sleek black suit and maroon tie, announcing that I had to go and write a column in New York.



" Jessica, this is a huge opprontunity for you! Professional actors are puting on "A Christmas Carol" in the New York City Theatre! Tickets are extremely hard to come by, but we've managed to pick up 2. You can invite a friend to go with you. I expect a full page on it."



" When do I leave?" I'd asked, eager to be undertaking such a prestigious project.



" Well, your plane leaves at 9:00 AM on the 23rd. That'll give you plenty of time to settle in to your hotel room before the play the next night." He'd obliviously flipped through papers in his file.



"Wait! What? I'm not going to be home for Christmas?" My disbelief and disapointment, I knew, had been evident, etched onto my face.



" Jessica," he'd said softly, dropping his professional tone, guesturing for me to sit down. "Ever since Tim died you've been clinging to your family. He's gone, Jessica, and you need to learn to be your own person again. This will be good for you. You haven't been out of your comfort zone in months, and a little adventure, a little fun, will help with that."



He'd handed me the tickets, and, wiping the tears from my watery eyes, I'd walked out of his office. I had been so sure that nothing good would come out of this trip. I was wrong, but, at the time, I was oblivious to that fact. I'd gone home and cried for hours, and after I was through with my episode of self pity, I'd slipped back into the shadows, more watching my life go by then actually living it. I was so unaware of what was to come.Is the prologue of my Christmas story any good?
To first answer your question, I'll reply with yes; I find the prologue exceptionally cute. :) There's the grammatical errors, of course, and there's an immense amount of Christmas stories, so unless it's planned to be twisted up a bit, people won't be too likely to read it.





Here are just a few things I'm going to point out to you.

1.) " When do I leave?" You may have already noticed, but there shouldn't be a space between the first quotation and the word when.



2.) "Disapointment" is actually spelled as disappointment. For some reason, it seems to be one of the most commonly misspelled of words. Not a biggie, though. :) It takes about five seconds to correct. Oppurtunity is also spelled incorrectly in your prologue. Again, it's not a big deal. Just proofread thoroughly. :)





3.) You may be doing this on purpose -- simply because it tends to create a dramatic effect -- but there are tons of sentence fragments in your prologue.

For example, the following piece of the prologue sounds fine with the fragments.

"I was brought up to know that Christmas was a family time. The first flakes of snow that fall in early November. The rich scent of warming apple pie. The laughter of children running around in red and green knit sweaters, a large dog with a bell collar galloping behind them. These were acts of love, warmth, and togetherness. Of family." It builds up to what you're trying to get across to the readers.







Good luck! :D