How would you handle this with a 6 yr old?

Today is my step daughter's 6th birthday. To celebrate, I made her favorite chocolate pumpkin muffins and hot chocolate for breakfast. We picked out a special outfit last night, but this morning it was far too cold for her to wear the capris she'd picked. I normally don't let her wear sweatpants to school, but the zip up jacket she was wearing had matching athletic pants to go with it. It was a full warm up suit of our local soccer team. I figured "hey it's her birthday, why not let her choose to wear it?" I had intended to put jeans with it, but she chose the athletic pants.



Walking into school she got several compliments on how cute she looked and if she was as good as "insert local soccer star"



Later in the afternoon, I got a call from the office saying she'd been in there SOBBING and SCREAMING that she wouldn't go out to recess because people would make fun of her for being dressed like a boy! WHAT???? The office had gotten her calmed down and called me afterwards, but I was (and am) really frustrated by this! She CHOSE the outfit. I didn't necessarily agree, but it's her birthday! She's prone to these ridiculous outbreaks to cause drama and get attention and it drives me insane! I texted my husband about it and he was just as exasperated. Her mother is the same way (which is why she doesn't see the child often) and it drives us both crazy that we give this little girl all our love, attention, and devotion, but she still thinks she needs to pull these crazy stunts! The office knew exactly what she was doing which was why they didn't let her call me because it would have led to more theatrics.



She's going to see her bio mom for a bit tonight and I KNOW she's going to blame me for dressing her that way and bio mom is going to lap it up and encourage her to say anything negative about me. We've had this issue over and over again where she'll lie about me to bio mom to get bio mom's attention and then come home and feel so guilty, but bio mom will already have the "ammo" she needs to start more "drama episodes" and pretend like the 6 yr old's word is gold because "she would never lie to her own mother". I'm SOOOO tired of dealing with it! It's not like I'm new in the picture. I've been with her dad since she was 6 months old!How would you handle this with a 6 yr old?
Okay, first off - Do NOT worry about the childs mom and her ammo.. who cares?? what she gonna do with it?? Let her think whatever the hell she wants to and don't let it make a difference in the way you treat this child, I am sure you will be more inclined to be extra nice so she is nice back to you after all this crap.. Biggest mistake ever. Now when she throws her fits like she did at school.. Let her throw it and do NOT play into it.... By playing into it, you are enabling/encouraging her to continue this behavior. Instead, switch gears and get her to behave the way you want her to by asking her to do what you want her to and when she does, reward her. I have a 5 year old step son that would demand EVERYTHING and throw a fit if he didnt get it. He would demand, I would nicely tell him "No, but I can show you how to get it yourself"... same with toy shopping, always had to have a toy when he went to the store.. my response "okay,you can have a toy but you have to pay for it".. hes like huh?? how ? with what money?? - here buddy, clean your room and I will give you a dollar.. now he takes great pride in the things he buys, takes care of them and doesnt throw a fit when we go to the store.
She just lost her right to pick out her own outfits.

There is acceptable behavior, and unacceptable behavior. This is unacceptable.How would you handle this with a 6 yr old?
i agree with sally jones answer what ever the little girl mother says then who cares, u are the mom now. do not let the little six yr old win. if u do u will be sorry sooner or later. dress her as u want to next time.
This is normal 6-year-old behavior. Don't worry about it.
Oh, and it's normal bio-mom behavior. So don't worry about that either.How would you handle this with a 6 yr old?
WTF?
Welp..Simple solution. She should be told that since she threw such a tantrum she will not be allowed to choose her outfits anymore. Every time she pitches a fit there HAS to be the same consistent reaction.





** she pitched one and got her way--she didnt want to go out recess and she didnt have too--she ended up in the office getting extra attention**



( keep in mind she is 6, you are bigger than her, you are the boss)